Friday, December 2, 2011

If I wasn't pregnant, I'd be drunk right now

No, no.. not really. But I'd like to know how many mothers of two year olds regularly drink during the day.

Bless his sweet little heart, Oliver is turning into an evil toddler monster. He's still darling 80% of the time of course, you've seen him, but that other 20% - holy mother is it ever frightening.

This morning, after a whiny start and an hour long dressing exercise that involved two changes due to wet pants (I want to say both of them were his; thank you pregnant bladder) we headed out the door to our local play centre. At Ollie's request.

Unfortunately, I also made a request. That he ride in his stroller, rather than making me carry him, his diaper bag and the stroller in the pouring rain. I think you can see that this was unreasonable on my part.

What followed was probably the worst, most scream-y, cry-y, hitt-y 45 minutes of his little life. We went from a moderate protest over the idea of sitting on his bum, to a complete and utter meltdown that could only reasonably have been over the great injustices carried out by and against his fellow man the world over since time began.

My reaction ranged from irritated, to mildly amused, to concerned about his physical well being, to pretty angry (when he hit me in the face), to exhausted. Which was an excellent emotional arc to follow, as both of us ended up at exhausted at the same time and then spent half an hour nursing and singing quietly until the little beast fell asleep peacefully - having even the nerve to coo gently in his sleep.

So now the precious little angel is asleep in his crib and I'm about to start cleaning up the mess that results from a 23 pound person acting like a G20 rioter in his own home.

Lucky for her, my mum is coming over this afternoon and whisking Ollie away to be babysat while Chris and I hit the town for our friends' annual Christmas party. I guess I won't get to take advantage of the open bar, but you'd better believe I'll be hitting the free buffet pretty hard.


  1. Seriously, how do people handle the epic toddler meltdowns without the boob?!? I sometimes hope Kale won't wean until he's 5 just so we can make it through the next few years with our sanity intact.

  2. I was just saying the same thing to Chris this morning. I had thought maybe Ollie was ready to wean a month or two ago, but I am so relieved that he hasn't because when it comes to soothing, I have one move, and it centers around my nipples!

  3. i think you mean "like G20 riot police"

  4. Ha ha.. thanks for the correction, Anonymous ;)


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