Monday, February 21, 2011

Things I don't understand: Faux Wedding Rings

Kristen at Project Baby put up a helpful little guide to traveling while pregnant today, and in doing so reminded me of one of the common married-woman practices that I've always been baffled by. I mean no disrespect in questioning it, mostly I just find it super topical right now as, if you catch my tweets you may know, I appear to have lost my wedding ring. 

Her post is not at all the first place I've heard of women seeking out fake wedding bands and engagement rings during pregnancy, because of swelling digits, or on vacation, for fear of theft. On pregnancy message boards which I frequented embarrassingly often during my period of confinement women often expressed their need to get larger sized faux wedding bands to make sure that when they were out and about in a clearly knocked-up state, no one got the impression that they were **gasp** unwed. 

Now, I'm not a person who'd bat an eye at being considered unwed and with child under any circumstances. I'm actually more of a person who'd relish the opportunity to give anyone who gave me the side eye due to bandless-ness a serious tongue lashing (or at least a long, out of earshot, passive aggressive rant). But is there really a world where people are going around with gaping maws over the concept that someone might both have a child and not be partnered? Or not married? Or god forbid, having a baby with someone they aren't permitted to marry (I'm looking directly at you, most of the U.S).

I guess there is. I think I might be insulated from some of the judgement that other mommies experience on many choices in my open, self consciously accepting urban environment. But I've got roots in the rural and suburban lands surrounding my precious city, and I've never noticed my ring finger under any scrutiny out there either.

I'm probably just oblivious, that's often the case. But other mommies.. what's the deal? Should I be rushing to find a cheap replacement for my ring before I'm accused of harlotry or what?

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